Bracing for Turbulence

I've been thinking about doing this post for awhile but wasn't quite sure how to start. Every time I've felt really low, I'd start to blog about it, but almost immediately things would turn around and I'd lose the need to post those particular feelings. Having a Blackberry would be really useful right about now. So consider this to be a reflection on my 4 or 5 weeks of Dunedin living...

I knew, or I was told, or maybe I even just anticipated, that moving abroad would be hard, tough, different. I mean, it's a new town, new laws, different accent, all that would be "hard" to adjust to right? But, surely it isn't that bad; hell, it's all in English, they love tourists, and I've traveled before. What I didn't realize is how big of a leap I was taking. Sure, there are probably heaps of Americans who do BUNAC and come to NZ every month in the summer to work, but how many of them came with a specific goal like I did (to do Genetic research)? How many wanted to move to Dunedin, whose mere utterance makes locals (Northerners, JAFFAs) cringe and complain about the weather? The intensity of my decisions and my feelings are magnified like 1000x here. The good times are like superstar status (cue "Electric Feel" by MGMT) feelings and the lows are just... deep and dark with copious amounts of chocolate. (side note: perhaps this is where my sweet tooth came from...chocolate does improve one's mood both physiologically and psychologically)

If I wanted to work at a casino, clean a hostel, or bag fruit, I would have had no problems finding work, for the most part. But I took the leap, took a flight and a bus ride to look into the face of opportunity. When I discovered the reality that Genetic reserach I wanted to do wouldn't be appearing until the New Year, I was really lost. A part of me felt that coming to Dunedin was a mistake, that I should have gone to Wellington first or followed the job postings. But I knew deep down that I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. Had I not come straight to Dunedin, I wouldn't have reconnected with Glenda and Co. My experience would be so different, I cannot even fathom it. I began looking for alternatives, as in working at the cafe and the Uni Temps, but became extremely desolute when I realized what these jobs really were--temporary and random, not something one can use a sole source of income. When I wasn't making the hours I expected, and the funds were dwindling, I actually contemplated coming home in January. I cannot believe the thought even crossed my mind, but I just felt so utterly disappointed. I have been letting myself get consumed by daydreams and ignoring the clues to the reality of the situation. It was really terrible to feel that low, but had I not felt so desperate, I probably wouldn't have been able to get so serious about my job hunt. You hear about people coming to the US with like 50cents to their name, right? I tried to channel that kind of determination and persistance. At least I speak the language, what am I even complaining about?! So I made a general CV with my cafe, uni, and retail experiences listed, made copies and hit the streets. I popped into cafes that were cute, the shops I thought were charming, would most likely be needing Christmas casuals, or replacements for Uni students who have left for the summer. At the end of the day, I felt hopeful, but not thrilled, because I wouldn't feel satisfied until I had a job--and the paycheck.

I could use this part of the story to get really philosophical but I am a little too exhausted to start Googling for the perfect quote. Mid-quest for jobs, I got a call from the Uni Temps asking if I could do a next-day start for a project at the Law department. Needless to say, it couldn't have come at a better time. Since then, my phone has been blowing up with opportunities, follow ups, cafe trials, interviews...seriously, where were all of these people 3 weeks ago? I guess it's a case of right place, right time. I now have started a part-time, permanent position at a fashion jewelery store and have a once a week retail job at a homewares boutique in addition to my Uni temping and dishwashing.

I feel so rediculously thankful that I "hit bottom" because it was just what I needed to get my bum into gear. The Law project has been good, as I have met a bunch of really fun people (it's a great office atmosphere) and some professors who are working on research regarding the ethics of Genetic testing, which is a topic I am completely fascinated by. Not to mention, I've had nearly 3 full days of work at the fantastic uni wages :) Did I mention they have an esspresso machine? Today was my first day at the jewelery job and I actually LOVED it! Perhaps it was because I got to wear products all day, or dance to the funky mix CD that plays on repeat, but I think it was because I get to interact with people and talk fashion. My manager is a doll too, so that helps.

For all of you out there, please don't be worried about me! I just wanted to let you know, on a personal level, how things have been for me. It's been a LOT of ups & downs, more than I expected, but I feel that my decision to come to Dunedin, to NZ, was the absolute best thing I've done for myself as a person :) Though I'm still not doing research, I feel confident that I am making my way towards that goal. On Wednesday I am flying to Auckland for a meeting of the Human Genetics Society of Australasia and then visiting my friend Jenna in the Bay of Islands for a bit and HOPEFULLY making a stop in Wellington for another Genetics conference on the 24th. I could really use a teleporter or time travel necklace a la Hermione Granger.